I’ve been dead quiet for a month here. For that whole month, it felt like death was with me. Today, I rise from my coffin slumber and bring about all the bitterness I contained for a month.
There are bestfriends, casual friends, close friends, and many other types of non-romantic, non-blood-related relationships. But for me, or even for some, there are only two types of friends, those who stay long enough to be your friends, they’re called true friends; and those who are just friendly when they’re with you and are otherwise when they’re with their other friends. A lot of backstabbing happens. I wouldn’t say I was backstabbed, or I did something like that to anyone. I just feel like I am being seen as the villain, or traitor, or outcast. And I feel really bad. Indeed, I have strayed from my norm. I have made decisions. I know that these decisions have consequences. And if it goes against me, I’ll fight for it, stand by it. It was my choice anyway, NOT YOURS. So, leave me be. Let me be.
Humans are social animals. With this comes the fact that people love to label other people. I don’t really like what you people think about me. And I won’t say I don’t care because I do. I’ve almost lost all the strength in me just to tell you people the truth. Some of you might have believed me. Others just pretended to do. You can not close an issue just like that and punctuate it with your ever fave line “it doesn’t matter anymore so why bother”. To me, it does. And it will matter forever until it rests in the shadows beneath my eyes.
For the finale, I’d just want to be emo.
“Nobody cares about me. Nobody really understands me. I just wanna die. My life is useless anyway. But then, I wanna feel the pain, too, the rush of blood on my wrists, the stinging feeling on my skin, the pain on my leg. Can I share it with you, please?” (go fuck your rotting corrupt government)